Friday, March 15, 2013

Dad of the Year

I know I still have to finish my Portland posts. 

I was so annoyed and frustrated last night at Jamie.

It all started when he called to say hi to Sophie last night as I was getting her ready for baths (why do I always feel like I get stuck with bath nights??) and he told her that there was a Taylor Swift concert going on right by the hotel he was staying at (he was out of town for business). Sophie screamed with excitement, exclaimed “No Way!!” and “Can you hear her??” and then Sophie said, “Maybe next time she’s in St. Louis, we could go!” in the same way that she might see a commercial on TV and say, “Oh that looks really cool – will you add that to my Birthday/Christmas list?”

Now I’ll have you know that I already knew Taylor Swift was coming to STL very soon and I will admit that I did not do anything about it. Sophie and I both LOVE Taylor Swift although I cannot fucking stand her new song, “Never Ever Getting Back Together.” SO disappointing. What were you thinking Taylor with that one?? Anyway, I knew she was coming to town but it never crossed my mind to take Sophie because
A - I thought she was too young. For some reason I had it in my head – arbitrarily so – that “no concerts until age 12.” Do you know when MY first concert was? I was in High School and it was Reggae Sunsplash at the Irvine Ampitheater? It was outside. We had lawn seats. I went with my older and sophisticated friend JMC and my parents loved her so they let me go. She got me higher than a kite, took one look at me at the end of the concert and said, “If I take you home to your parents like that, they will have my head” so we called them and made up some poor excuse and I spent the night at JMC’s so that my parents would never have to see my blood shot eyes.

I know my eight year old won’t be smoking pot INSIDE at a Taylor Swift concert – ESPECIALLY not with Mr. Goody Goody Two-Shoes (Jamie smoking pot, HAHAHAHAHA HILARIOUS) [not that you’re a goody two shoes if you haven’t, but he sure does like to get all high and mighty, holier than thou] but I just had in my head that 12 would be a more reasonable age to see Taylor Swift.

And I KNOW that TONS of parents these days take their little ones to see all kinds of concerts – Big Time Rush and Justin Bieber and what not. And I have no problem with that. To each his own. But I’m not talking about their kids, I’m talking about MY kid.

B - I didn’t want to deal. I’ll admit it. I didn’t want to spend the money because I’m cheap (Jamie did teach me that) and I didn’t want to deal with the traffic and the rushing down there and the finding parking and the paying out the whazoo for parking and the crowds and the bumping and what if it was a cold night and we had to walk 10 blocks downtown in the dark when it’s 34 degrees at 10 o’clock ON A SCHOOL NIGHT just to get back into our car? Jamie is right: I AM LAZY.

So anyway after the little chat that Jamie and Soph had, he called me and she was in bed and I saw the missed call and I groaned and thought “Ugh, what does he want NOW” and he made his proposal and I told him I would think about it. So then I texted some Mommy friends who I respect and whose values align with mine and they all said that yes, they would let him take her because it was Taylor Swift and she seems pretty innocent. And then I told each one of them, “Thank you. I am just jealous because I know he doesn’t give a rat’s ass about Taylor Swift but he wants to take her to prove that he is ‘Dad of the Year.’” And they all said pretty much, “Yeah I figured” and the general consensus was that even though we as women and mothers BIRTH these children, we get stuck with all the crap jobs like blowing noses and taking off work when the kids are sick and nagging about putting your dirty clothes in the hamper and the dads always get to be the heroes and do the fun stuff (I KNOW there are exceptions).

So this morning I texted Jamie that he could take her – I haven’t even discussed this with my mother because I know she would say, “Oh I wouldn’t let him take her” but for her taking a kid to a concert is preposterous at any age. And then I kindly asked if I could have Sophie back early on Sunday (his weekend) since obviously he will keep her overnight on Monday because that’s when the concert is (AS IN THIS MONDAY) and no I do not want her back at 11pm thank you very much – I’ll have been asleep for at least an hour already anyway. But his side of the family is celebrating his older brother and his mom’s birthdays at 4pm on Sunday so I just wrote back, “Fine whatever.”
Jamie: You seem annoyed.

I WAS going to keep it to myself but he noticed I was annoyed (doesn’t everybody? A: Yes, I don’t hide it well) So I just told him and then he said some things about how he didn’t want to compete with me blah blah blah and if it meant so much to me I could just take her, or we could forget the whole thing.
So I paused but then went back to reason b) above.
Oh I know what you’re thinking: Just let him take her to the fucking concert Farrell and be over it. And in the end that’s what I did. But it wasn’t easy for me.

More fun topic: What was your first concert and how old were you?

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