Sunday, January 20, 2013


Last week, Jeff asked me, “You know…strictly for hypothetical purposes…for research purposes only…what, um, kind of ring would you want?” and I told him that I didn’t really know until I tried things on. I know I want a Sapphire and something that won’t make my fingers look fat, but that’s about it. “Well I guess I’ll have to take you to Jared,” he said.

So naturally, me being a girl and all, I got excited over the prospect of shopping for engagement rings.

Then Wednesday night, or typically middle-of-the-week kid-free night, he had a work happy hour and I wasn’t feeling great so we texted and I told him that he didn’t have to come all the way down to my house after his happy hour because I was exhausted and going to bed early. “Oh well, it’s too late for Jared anyway!” he said.

So I still thought that maybe it would happen this weekend? I emailed him Friday morning-ish from work and said, “What do you want to do tonight?” and he said, “Whatever.” Wrong answer I thought. Later that afternoon I said, “I thought we were going to Jared? :) *wink*”
“We could!” he wrote back.
“We could” does not mean, “Yes, let’s” or “Yes, that was my plan” or…besides, *I’m* not going to make the plan and I’m not going to beg for it.

You know, he has teased like this before, earlier in our relationship. We would be driving in the car, not really sure where we were going, just driving, waiting for inspiration to hit us and he would say something like “We could go to a jewelry store…” and I would laugh because it was funny because clearly after three, six months together we were NOT going to go shopping for engagement rings. It was a ridiculous prospect at that time. But NOW, quickly approaching our 1 ½ mark together (in March), it’s NOT actually a ridiculous idea; it’s a realistic idea and the teasing is getting old.

I explained the situation to a co-worker/friend, worried that I was acting like a pouty child, but her opinion was that he was taunting me. He did not MEAN to taunt me, I know this – he did not do it to be mean on purpose.

Jeff and I were coming back from eating a big breakfast on Saturday morning and he was teasing me about something – I forget what – and then he said, “I’m sorry I’m being mean to you. Am I hurting your feelings?” And I decided that was my opening. I told him that no he wasn’t but sometimes he does like when he teases me about going shopping for a ring but doesn’t make a plan to actually do it. “Well we can go…” and I just felt like shouting at him, “MAKE A FUCKING PLAN ALREADY OR SHUT UP ABOUT IT.” But I didn’t.

The whole weekend passed and we still didn’t go.

Saturday night his neighbors had the other neighbors over and we joined in the party. One of his friends happens to be named Jared. “I told you we’d see Jared this weekend,” he said. “HA.HA.HA.” I said back.

Then he did it AGAIN when we took my dog to the emergency vet because she was limping (she’s fine – it’s her arthritis flaring up but no fracture): “Well I guess we don’t have time to go to Jared today.”

I gave him a snide look and said “I told you it’s not nice to tease.”

“I’m not teasing,” he said.

I flipped my magazine angrily, feigning interest in the celeb gossip (I don’t even know who half the people are in People magazine anymore). “Well we still have three hours before Sophie is due to come back,” I mumble.

We get home and he leaves to go see his mother.

If he’s not ready, that’s fine. I know that I love him and him me and I can’t imagine wanting anyone else. But he needs to either:
a - Make a plan to take me.
b - Shut up about it until he’s ready to make a plan to take me.


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