Yesterday was a good day. And on that day, I started to think that Jamie leaving me could be the best thing that ever happened to me. Blessings come in disguise. Isn’t that what “they” say?
I truly am blessed. Not only with a beautiful daughter, but I have the best damn friends a gal could ask for. Thank you thank you thank you thank you.
Is it wrong that I don’t miss him? I mean, let’s face it: he’s an ass. Even so, he was my husband of four years. Did I miss him in the beginning? I can’t remember…I know I was hurt. Shocked. I was asking WHY did he do this and HOW could he have done this, but I don’t know if I really missed him. The truth is, neither one of us really did anything nice for the other. It’s not like we had romantic evenings cuddling on the couch talking about our day. No. It was more like pizza while watching Seinfeld. That’s really sad to me. And the sex? Well, that was nothing special. Besides, I have my toys.
Through this experience, I’ve really gained a lot of insight (with the help of my friends and parents) about myself and my relationship with Jamie. I’ve learned to take responsibility for my role in the marriage (not that this excuses his decisions) and have realized some not-so-pleasant things about myself in the process. But now I know.
And I am blessed the most each time my daughter smiles at me.
Tuesday, January 25, 2005