Wednesday, November 05, 2014
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
So Marcy called Jeff the other day to tell him that she bought Ethan a bunch of Under Armor clothes because “all the kids are wearing them and I really want him to fit in.”
First of all, Jeff was like, “Why are you telling me this?” Second of all, Ethan is a 10-year old boy. Do you know how he gets dressed in the morning? He pops out of bed, pulls out a pair of pants and a shirt and puts them on. IN THE DARK. Before he’s even awake, before he’s even come out of his room, before he’s even had breakfast. He doesn’t give a shit what he wears. There may come a time when he wants to impress a girl and wants to look cool for her, so why don’t you just wait until we get to that point? ETHAN didn’t ASK his mom to buy Under Armor clothes because “all the kids are wearing that stuff.” No. Marcy saw the trend and jumped on it because she is a 14-year old in a 47-year old body and is obsessed with being popular, still, and is therefore obsessed with Ethan being popular, which is why she completely over-socializes him and he never has time alone, just to be an only child, just to chill – well not at her house anyway.
Also, here’s what else bugs me about her: You know how kids get into fads right? We have all been there, in our childhood or with our own kids, or if we’re around kids (say a teacher or something), we’ve seen it. When I was a kid it was the jelly bracelets. And it was how many could you collect and wear at one time. And then there were the jelly shoes. And we used to put beads on paper clips and tie them on our shoelaces. And 1,000 other things that my mom could probably remember better than me. But that’s the point: they are fads, they don’t last long, it’s a kid thing; everyone goes through them. Oh! High top sneakers. Converse. Grunge dressing. The fads may have differed for you, depending on your age and where in the country you grew up. Well kids are kids and they still have fads. Last fall it was the Rainbow Loom. Ethan got into it at first because his neighbor friends were into it so of course Marcy didn’t want him to be left out and ran out to IMMEDIATELY purchase everything and anything that had to do with the rainbow loom. The loom, an organization container, and 8,000 packs of rubber bands in all colors, including neon and glow in the dark. So then Ethan had ALL of it and the fad lasted pretty long for fads – a couple of months – and then it was over.
When Ethan expressed an interest in collecting baseball cards, Marcy went out and IMMEDIATELY purchased every baseball card pack they sold at Target or Walmart so that Ethan could have the whole collection RIGHT NOW. I haven’t heard him speak of baseball cards since. You know why? Because she’s taking all the fun out of it. The JOY of getting into something, well, part of it is the wait. Wait for birthday money, wait for the new card to come out, the new version, so you can get it. She’s teaching him immediate gratification and because he gets everything immediately, the joy of actually building up a collection is something he never gets to experience. She did the same when he was into Pokémon cards.
And so we are left over here to counter-act all of this. SIGH. The good news is, Ethan hasn’t asked his dad for a new toy in MONTHS and MONTHS.